I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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