Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Randomize
