All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Randomize
