I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize
