Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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