Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
