the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
