shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Randomize
