I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Randomize
