If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
