With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
