I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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