"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
