Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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