She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
