your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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