so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
