the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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