I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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