i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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