Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
