Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize