forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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