I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
