he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
