Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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