? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
