I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize