Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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