I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
whose parrot is this?
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize