i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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