We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
The ass gains better be worth it
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
