from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
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