Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
two words: eviction party
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Randomize
