Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
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