M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
