i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
this will be a night to untag.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Randomize
