you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
