Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Two words: blizzard sex
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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