Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
