Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize