3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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