I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
