If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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