I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
