so that wasnt chicken after all
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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