He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
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