Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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