Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
