Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
