maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
