Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Randomize
