Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
4 words: hood of his car
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Randomize
