You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
