So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
