i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Randomize
