and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
