He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
