oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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