somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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