they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
